Getting Unsettled
As I was responding to an email this morning about our impending move*, I realized “getting unsettled” is the best term for what we’ve been doing for … however long we’ve been working on this move**.
We’re really looking forward to starting to settle again. To make our nest in a new place. For well over a year, we’ve been getting unsettled. We’ve been gradually selling off or giving away all the things that we either can’t move, or doesn’t make sense to bring with us. For example, right now we don’t have any bedroom furniture besides a mattress on the floor and some plastic storage bins. For the 2 days between when the rest of our stuff leaves and our flight, we won’t have any plates, cookware, desks, chairs, etc. Only mattresses and the essentials that we’ll be flying with. Every step of the way, we’re asking ourselves over and over “Are we done with this yet? How uncomfortable will it be to live without it if we get rid of it now?” about hundreds of different items around our house. It feels unsettling. We’ve got it wrong a number of times. I can’t count the number of times I thought I was done with something, sold it, and then needed it right after. However, if we just waited on everything, then there’s no way we would have gotten it all done in time.
We’re looking at the other side of this adventure with great anticipation and excitement (we’d have to be to put forth this kind of heroic effort). This move will be a huge change for us with loads of opportunity. The life we’re leaving behind is a good one, but the life we’re entering is a much better fit for us. It’s the next stage in the personal growth for both of us, and that’s before we count the opportunity it provides for our kids to experience and learn from another culture.
Whenever we talk about unsettling, it’s always a negative thing. However, the unsettling process itself has been a good one by itself as well. We’re shedding a lot of baggage that we didn’t even realize was baggage. We’ve collected so much stuff over the years, and all of that stuff requires care of some sort, even if that care is just building more storage in our barn to get things out of the way. One of the big steps this week was selling one of our two cars. Having one less vehicle to worry about felt light a weight lifting. There were plenty of things that we’ve parted with that we were only keeping because of guilt “This belonged to <insert family member>. I don’t ever use it, but I can’t just get rid of it”. Every time there’s a little relief in the parting. I don’t ever have to worry about finding a place for that thing again, don’t have to worry about it breaking in a move, it’s in someone else’s care now.
Don’t be afraid to get unsettled. You can’t get settled in a new place without unsettling from the old, and you can’t grow without change.
I can’t wait to board that plane and start our next adventure!
* If you don’t know, Heather and I are moving from the US to The Netherlands *next week*.
** Looking back at my text history, I see that I was arranging Craigslist sales of things that we couldn’t move as far back as March 2021.